


Breath That's True

by enbookcased



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, M/M, One-Sided Seo Changbin/Lee Felix, Pining, Recreational Drug Use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-27
Updated: 2020-10-27
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:15:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26487775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enbookcased/pseuds/enbookcased
Summary: Changbin puts his G pen to his lips. Felix watches as the vapor curls around his face, a lazy caress, watches his eyes go thin and dark, head tipped back. His Adam’s apple bobs, and Felix swears he’s never seen anything more beautiful in his life.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Felix, Hwang Hyunjin/Seo Changbin, Lee Felix/Seo Changbin
Comments: 4
Kudos: 67
Collections: SKZ Jukebox Fest Speed Round





	Breath That's True

**Author's Note:**

> Written for SKZ Jukebox's Speed Round. The song I used as inspiration was Fade Into You by Mazzy Star. It's short, but I'm really happy with the way it came out. Hope y'all like it too!

The air is hazy.

Changbin puts his G pen to his lips. Felix watches as the vapor curls around his face, a lazy caress, watches his eyes go thin and dark, head tipped back. His Adam’s apple bobs, and Felix swears he’s never seen anything more beautiful in his life.

His heart throbs once, twice in his chest, and Felix decides he can’t take it anymore. He tears his eyes away, looks up. In the desert, the sky can stretch for an eternity, red in one corner and purple in another, the Milky Way more visible in the quiet emptiness than anywhere else on the planet. Felix can hear a radio playing somewhere in the distance, hears the laughter of some sort-of friends, acquaintances, people he never knew before tonight, but he’s not paying them any attention. There’s no reason to. His whole reason for being there is right next to him, sweaty knees bumping against one another uncomfortably, creating a heat rash on Felix’s leg he’ll swear is true love.

“Ah, Lix,” Changbin slides down, flops his head in Felix’s lap. The vapor now drifts around them both. Felix wrinkles his nose—he doesn’t like the smell, a sickly, warped peach mango—and lifts a hand. It’s buried in Changbin’s hair before he knows what he’s doing, his fingertips combing through the poker-straight black strands, gentle. Fixated on this boy. This dumb boy that opens his mouth and his every wish is Felix’s command; if he can grant it, it’s Changbin’s for life.

But he knows Changbin doesn’t know. Because if he did, he wouldn’t crush Felix’s heart every day. He wouldn’t do things like—

Changbin tucks away his pen. He reaches up and pulls the Blow Pop out of Felix’s mouth—Felix's second favorite flavor and Changbin’s first, watermelon—and pops it into his own. The smile he gives Felix is cheeky and dizzying and leaves Felix feeling punched in the solar plexus. He affects a grouchy face, though, and grumbles, “Next time, ask.” Changbin shouts out a laugh, high-pitched and slightly rabid, Blow Pop distending his cheek. Felix should find the laugh grating. He finds it charming instead. He’s too far gone. He knows.

“ChangBIN,” someone shouts off in the distance, obnoxious and Changbin picks his head up. “Your boy is here.”

Changbin scents the wind. “Jinnie?”

A voice in the night, one Felix wishes he could hate. But Changbin likes it so much. “Hey, Binnie. Ready to go?” Teasing. Playful. Giggly. What Changbin wants.

Changbin looks over at Felix, probably for the last time. Hyunjin is waiting, a tall, sharp shadow against the twilight. “You gonna be okay here, Lix?”

Felix smiles, though he doesn’t want to. Though he’d rather melt into the sand of the desert. “I'll be fine. Go be with—” He chokes. There’s something in his throat. His head is fogged. He nods instead.

The smile, god, the smile Changbin sends his way. Felix is sure it’ll be burned into his brain until it turns to sludge inside his rotting skull, far past death. Changbin pats Felix on the shoulder, a sign of affection. A _platonic_ sign of affection. Then he hops off the hood of the car, off Felix’s lap, taking the Blow Pop and Felix’s heart with him. Carrying it like it weighs nothing, as if it never bled at all and glad-walks, half-skips over to Hyunjin, his gait and limbs loose. Happy. Hyunjin takes Changbin by his jaw and leans down and—

Felix looks away. He closes his eyes and looks away for a long time.

When he opens them again, Changbin and Hyunjin are gone. He’s still breathing. The air is clearing.

Across all the cars parked in an imperfect circle is a kid with straw blonde hair and a band-aid across his nose. He has a skateboard in one hand, well used by the look of it, and he catches Felix looking his direction and smiles.

Felix looks away toward the purple. Imagines the weight of Changbin across his thighs. It feels strange.

Turning inward, he tucks his chin into the mouth of his hoodie. It’s growing just cold enough at night for him to cover his hands in the overlarge sleeves, hiding everything except his fingertips.

“Hey.”

The boy with the band-aid is in front of him now, framed in oranges and reds. Now that he is close, Felix can see the dimples in his cheeks as he smiles at Felix. “I‘m Chris. What’s your name?”

The air is clear.


End file.
